Good-Bad Movie Recast: The Room

One of my fantasies if I were to win the lottery would be to take a bad movie and recast it. I always wonder when I watch independent and bad (not saying that bad movies are restricted to independent, because they’re not) if the movie had a budget and could get really incredible actors, a better director, and editor, etc. with the same script if the movie could be good.

I have a dream – and it’s to recast The Room with the following people.


First off the new Room would be directed by Martin Scorsese, not that Tommy Wiseau didn’t do an incredible job, but… you know..


First up is Johnny. Brooding? Check. Passionate? Check. 0% Body fat? No.


I don’t know what Charlize would look like with crimped hair, a red dress, and light blue eyeshadow, but I think that she would make a good Lisa.


Classic American good-looks with the ability to steal away women from their boring future husbands.


Less hair products would turn this hair into a lovely mushroom cut just like simple, loveable Dinny-Dinny-Dinny-Boy.


Don’t worry, Meryl Streep, they’re curing lots of people every day.


Marion is the type of woman you could have secret girl talk with over a glass of wine and a throbing neck vein.


Two words Zach Galifianakis – “Me underwears”


Cillian, you don’t have run bay to breakers, there’s too many weirdos. Ps – Watch out for that ledge, Mark might feel like doing something crazy like running or killing himself.


No casting changes needed.


He feels like he’s sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off. Steve is probably my favourite character because of his randomness.


And last but not least, the red head at the party that makes sure we know that Lisa is looking really sexy tonight.

Agree? Suggestions? When can we start?

26 thoughts on “Good-Bad Movie Recast: The Room”

  1. Awesome, however, I really think David Lynch is the right guy for the director’s chair. The Room is nothing if not a Freudian surrealist metaphor for internal turmoil and dissociation.

  2. as bad as the acting in The Room is, I think it’s the script that makes it truly terrible. that said; it would be amazing to see The Room redone with this cast.

  3. You run Bay-to-Breakers, not Beta-Breakers. Bay-to-Breakers is a yearly race involving large numbers of people, often in outlandish costumes.

    However, this is a great recast. The world agrees: No one can play Chris R but Chris R.

  4. I’ve always though Chris R. was actually a good actor, even if wardrobe thought it was appropriate to out him in track pants and dress shoes.

  5. This is great!! If the original Chris-R isn’t available, I would like to see Christian Bale take that on.

    I thought it was beta-breakers too, until my Bay Area friends schooled me that it’s Bay to Breakers.

  6. Very well done! I completely agree with keeping Chris R. When having debates regarding who is the best actor/actress, I’ve always raved about Chris R.’s abilities to be the most believable, even if he is wearing loafers with running pants.

    1. I found it when Greg Sestero shared it. By the way, great casting choices – although I read a similar article recently that suggested Werner Herzog as Johnny, and I had to agree. Then he could write, direct, produce, star, AND have an accent!

  7. What about the woman at the flower shop who fails to recognize Johnny (“her favorite customer”) in sunglasses? I think Kathy Bates would be perfect. I thought Rosie at first as well, but I don’t think she has the range to pull it off.

    Also +1 on David Lynch.
    And +1 on Chris R.

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