Vacation Movie Review: The Werewolf of Washington

Werewolf in Washington

So to start off, incase you weren’t aware I love horror movies. I love good legit scary horror movies like Quarantine, Dawn of the Dead and Session 9. But I also love old campy horror films. There’s something about a low-budget horror film that is just so enjoyable, arguably more entertaining than a high budget good film. For some reason horror movies are the most ridiculous of bad movies, probably because of the special effects and possibly because of the personalities that create horror movies. Funny horror movies don’t have to be old (example S.I.C.K) but it helps.

So the first good/bad horror movie we watched was The Werewolf of Washington. Based on the name alone it doesn’t sound too exciting, but we had a 50 pack of movies and it was the first one. We have a rule that about 30 minutes in if it’s unbearable we’ll skip to the next one. I can say that we did not Gong this movie, we made it through the whole thing.

This movie is about a press assistant to the President is bitten by a wolfman in some foreign country. Something like Romania or something. I can’t remember why he was there, it’s not important. I also can’t explain why they spend some time on the female character he’s with at the beginning because she has no impact on the story. Anyways, so dude gets bitten then he goes back to the states. Not far after an old lady gets murdered by some sort of animal, then another. Then some woman at a gas station.

He was on the car the WHOLE TIME

The press assistant is at the aftermath of the gas station incident for some reason and the cop on the scene blames some hippies. This probably has something to do with the social climate of 1973, but doesn’t mean much to me. Anyways, so dude starts to figure out HE’S the werewolf, so he starts telling everyone, I’m a werewolf.

Stage 1 of werewolffing
Stage 2 of werewolffing

He’s got on helluva underbite, y’all.

So no one believes the dude that he’s a werewolf. And for some reason at certain points they show that it’s a full moon, but dude turns into a werewolf several nights in a row, so explain that. Anyways so he knows he’s gonna turn into a werewolf so they loosely chain him to a wicker rocking chair and get a time-lapse camera set up. No one has time to stay with him though and make sure he doesn’t turn into a werewolf. Also they don’t lock the door, so the president’s dishy daughter who owns one dress shows up and is all, OMG I’m gonna help you. Dude explains what’s going on, but she loves him for who he is, dawww.

While all of this is happening the President has a really important helicopter ride happening with the President of China (or somewhere? details.) and the other dude that he wants to come on this important ride is sick or something, so werewolf guy has to go. Werewolffy explains, dude, I’m a werewolf and Imma kill you and the other guy. The President ain’t got time for that. So werewolf guy goes onto the helicopter for some ridiculous reason and low and behold turns into a werewolf underbite and all.

The President of the United States or Cliff from Cheers

The President of China is seeing what’s happening and the President of the USA just keeps ignoring him. He also keeps asking for the werewolf to pay attention, their seats weren’t facing each other, so he couldn’t see he was turning into a werewolf. Eventually the werewolf freaks out and they land the helicopter, luckily they landed where they were supposed to, right in front of a press conference taking place in the middle of a field. The werewolf starts attacking people including the President (gasp). It’s really dumb. I can’t remember what happens after, I think the werewolf tries to attack dishy-one-dress and he gets shot. It’s a bit of a blur.

I guess to sum it up this movie is pretty good. It’s kind of close to one of those movies that’s not so bad it’s funny but not so good it’s actually good. There are some funny transforming into a werewolf bits. Also the president doesn’t listen to anyone, ever, so that’s pretty fun.

I’m going to give it 5 Gomezs out of 10.

/10

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